I live up north now, and over the years I've met lots of Geordies. Some of them are quite nice.
The first time I met a Geordie though, it didn't go too well. I was living in Leeds at the time, in a terraced house, and being keen on football, as I was, I used to like nothing better than to kick a football against a wall. I could go on for hours.
If I didn't have a football, a tennis ball or anything else vaguely football shaped would do. Now I didn't have a dog at the time, so I don't know why I ended up with it, but one day I had managed to acquire a squeaky dog toy in the shape of a hedgehog. This acted in many ways very similar to a ball except with it being shaped like a hedgehog it didn't always roll very well.
One day I was kicking said hedgehog against the side of the end terraced house in our street, and this ferocious old bloke with a Geordie accent came out of his house, and told me to stop kicking that bloody ball against my house, I'm trying to watch TV.
It's not a ball, it's a hedgehog, I said. I always like to get the facts straight, even when I'm being bollocked.
This only seemed to anger him further, and he came out with a string of expletives in Geordie, the gist of which seemed to be not to give him any more cheek or he'd be shoving the bloody hedgehog up my arse.
I sort of steered clear of him after that.
I've met loads of Geordies since and a lot of them are quite nice.
I expect he might have been too, if it hadn't been for the repeated 'bang, squeak, bang, squeak' against his house. Ah well, never mind.
The first time I met a Geordie though, it didn't go too well. I was living in Leeds at the time, in a terraced house, and being keen on football, as I was, I used to like nothing better than to kick a football against a wall. I could go on for hours.
If I didn't have a football, a tennis ball or anything else vaguely football shaped would do. Now I didn't have a dog at the time, so I don't know why I ended up with it, but one day I had managed to acquire a squeaky dog toy in the shape of a hedgehog. This acted in many ways very similar to a ball except with it being shaped like a hedgehog it didn't always roll very well.
One day I was kicking said hedgehog against the side of the end terraced house in our street, and this ferocious old bloke with a Geordie accent came out of his house, and told me to stop kicking that bloody ball against my house, I'm trying to watch TV.
It's not a ball, it's a hedgehog, I said. I always like to get the facts straight, even when I'm being bollocked.
This only seemed to anger him further, and he came out with a string of expletives in Geordie, the gist of which seemed to be not to give him any more cheek or he'd be shoving the bloody hedgehog up my arse.
I sort of steered clear of him after that.
I've met loads of Geordies since and a lot of them are quite nice.
I expect he might have been too, if it hadn't been for the repeated 'bang, squeak, bang, squeak' against his house. Ah well, never mind.
Another great laugh. Thanks we need it with all this rain which has cut short my summer tour. BTW I,m from up near Geordie land but was transplanted down here when I married a Boro lad 40 yrs ago.
ReplyDeleteBrenda in the Boro